Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Waits, Weights, Measures and Letting Go

        Dang; how on earth do you let go of something so silly, yet clings to emotional memory and smacks you in the heart, every time something reminds you of it?

        By silly, I mean that some guy made an acrid comment in a parking lot, leaping before he looked, judging something because he couldn't see a stereotype.  I understand his viewpoint, and know it wasn't directly about me...but every time I'm in a parking lot on a bad day, getting out of the car, I remember how too many people judge invisible illnesses without trying to understand what they see - or don't see.

        I'm very much a proponent of allowing oneself to grieve; really letting the heart and mind process what they need to, in order to pass through the experience with the least stress possible.  After all, they will at some point, like it or not, so we might as well stop wasting all our energy trying to resist, when it will only make the process longer and harder than need be!

        Yes, I do understand many forms of grief - just take my word for it and trust me.  One can grieve the loss of a loved one, be it human or animal; the loss of a job, a home, or their economic security; the loss of health, ability, or the expectation that life was going to be just what we thought it would be.  Any or all of these things, and many others, are reasons we must learn to grieve with dignity and grace....which isn't easy, and rarely sticks when there are so many ways to be knocked down.

        So what do we do?  What do I do?

        Like I reply when friends give me That Look when I ask That Question: Yeah, I know.  A lot of the answer is patience; patience in allowing time to pass so that the situation can get some distance; patience in ourselves as we process it all; patience in everyone else around us, whether they're involved or not, because whether or not they understand, they may still not know the best way to handle being here, waiting with you.

        Yeah, while sometimes patience is the hardest part, sometimes it's a better healer than time, itself.

        You didn't really think I had this all figured out, did you?  Nah...seems like every other day there is another reason for me to reevaluate my choice of standing up here on this blog box and baring my vulnerabilities like some insane performer in a circus act!  But maybe that's another subject for another post, another day...or another night, as these things tend to go.  For now, I think I'll just battle one, painful embarrassment at a time, if I can!

        Better day, my friends.


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