This second week's quote is this:
"Change your thoughts,
and you change your world."
~ Norman Vincent Peale
And her question:
What thoughts are interfering
with your happiness today?
Well, this is one of those times when I need to remember that the point of this blog is mostly to allow others to know that they are not alone, and in order to do that, I need to reveal things that help them understand that fact. *sigh* Okay well, here goes...
This has been a really tough year for me, so far. Several, rather nearly-overwhelming blows have hit me in quick succession, and I must admit I've been sliding into the gray. For instance, remember that amazing pain management/trauma counselor I mentioned a while back? I was so fortunate to have her in my life, but unfortunately, due to circumstances out of my control, I was rather abruptly torn from her practice.
Then a death in the family opened up a huge set of thoughts and emotions I'd not even realized I'd need to brace against their surfacing! Perhaps there are things in our lives, that no matter where we go, what we do, how far we go nor what our choices turn us into... those things will freeze us where we stand, and for even a moment, send us back in time to be submerged in who, what and where we were, back then, as well as what happened to us at that time.I thought perhaps I could semi-make-it through if I could just have a few days to pack it properly and forget (which is NOT healthy and I do NOT recommend it). But then one health problem after another... ...and I'm kind of struggling on this side of a line of sanity that too many of us face at some point in our lives. I don't mean the one that says, "This is driving me crazy!" Because that implies frustration, which means there us still hope and power within to make change if the answers can be found.
No, I'm talking about another line, down the way a little, when there seems no answers are left, and the only choices are between bad ones. This is the line at which Defeat and Despair come to meet and welcome us into their cold embrace. The line at which it seems there is no way out of the future, and therefore one must simply face that, and find a way to make something of the mess that is left. So right now, this person thought to be "incurably optimistic" is struggling with thoughts of the future, and the pains of the present, that keep me shackled in ways I never could have expected!
I've been trying to practice what that beloved therapist counseled, and trying to hold on to whatever little pieces of light I can, but my weaknesses in my physical, mental and emotional areas are more disruptive than might be believed. And when moments like the past, two days have happened, when my body decides to declare a new battle in the war against itself... well, those days are just survived, if possible.
So today, the thoughts that are interfering with my happiness are many and varied, and tied to me like weights in a river. But I think the point of this exercise is more about realizing they are there, so that we can more accurately face them, deal with them, and hopefully overcome their grasp on us. There are things we cannot escape in this life, but our thoughts are things most of us can freely explore, examine and change, if we so choose. That is the balance between the curse and the gift of humanity: we are conscious, and yet we have the power to change things in our lives to reflect the person we truly want to be. As we choose our thoughts to reflect that desire, the desire begins to develop into change. I've seen it happen. It can happen.
My friends, I'm certainly no master at this thing called Life. In so many ways I feel quite the opposite. But that isn't the point of why I share these things. I merely want to unite people who feel they need connection with others who are more positive and can help them develop that in their own lives. And so I share my insights, hoping that in some way, perhaps I can find a way to do that.
Better days ahead, my friends.
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