Did you ever fear the monsters under your bed, or in your closet?
Imagine them peering from the dark, watching your every, sleeping breath?
Stare into the darkness, trying to make out their shapes
from those of the rest of the things in there?
Um...neither did I.
Ahem.
Hard to believe we're to Week 28, already! Yet here we are! And already at Monday, again! Welcome back to Monday, folks!
The quote and question Christine Morgan gives us in this week's section of her book, "Motivational Mondays", is a great focus for challenging the thought processes of a sufferer of Panic or other anxiety disorders!
"There are very few monsters
who warrant the fear we have of them."
~ Andre Gide
"What bold thing can you do to face down a monster?
I'm going to presume that posting this doesn't count. No matter how many of these I post, I still get that knot in my stomach as I hit "Publish" or "Post"! And I'm not sure I'll ever get over the nerves I feel when posting an image to the PB Facebook page! Unfortunately, those images don't get posted as often, because I tend to be a bit of a perfectionist, and they never feel "right" nor "finished"...so it's really, really hard for me to put up a visual proof of what I feel is my incompetence!
Yes, I do realize that I'm not a complete moron,
and I do have at least a few skills,
and the images are not the worst thing
ever to have been sent off into the internet.
But still...might as well be honest about it.
That is why we're here, after all.
*sigh*
Where was I? Oh yes, facing down a monster. I do suppose, however, that in reality, both of these fears are perfect for this example. Maybe I'll go ahead and use them in my answer! After all, in a lot of ways, this fear - call it, "stage fright", perhaps - is rather irrational and does nothing but hold me back from accomplishing more of what I want to do!
So, I think the best way to conquer a fear, is to challenge it. What is it I fear, when the pieces are all whittled down to their bones and I can see them for what they really are? Well, to really simplify the process... since I have some practice with it, and this isn't intended to be a detailed how-to blog... I suppose, when I mindfully consider what is really going on inside me, it actually comes down to ridicule, rejection, abandonment, or simply having people flatter me with corny compliments while really they think I'm an idiot.
I think these are pretty common fears, actually. When you've had a lot of hurtful things happen in life, fears can sometimes become part of the package; since many of us don't get to grow up under the most emotionally-fertile circumstances, this can lead to thought patterns and behaviors that happen to disrupt or distort the process and progress of our lives. Because they develop naturally under certain circumstances, we usually don't even realize the "monsters" in our heads have been roaming around, sabotaging our best efforts. We simply keep pushing in the direction we think we need to go, not understanding why nothing seems to work out the way we think they should.
That whole thing I said about not thinking I'm a moron, etc., was an example of how I have learned to challenge those monsters in my head that tell me that the most scary thing possible in life is to have someone not like my posts! When I remove myself from the fear, and ask myself why I feel the way I do, it kind of puts things in a bit better perspective.
Am I really as stupid as I feel I am?
Who told me I was stupid?
What qualifications do they have,
that give them the responsibility to diagnose
my level of intelligence, skill, and capability, anyway?
Am I being forced live at the mercy of someone
who doesn't even realize my worth and value?
Who is forcing me?
Oh...that's just my own fears doing all of that.
Anyone else is long, since gone.
And I don't have to let anyone else's opinion matter, anymore.
Am I making any sense? Whether I am, or not, I think that the point of this week's question is to remind me of this process, and help me hone my skills in it, a bit. After all, those who master something are not excused from having those challenges happen...they simply have mastered the ability to deal with them.
So, since I've not mastered this one, I suppose I'd best get on it. Tally ho!
Better days ahead, my friends!
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