Choosing Your Own Challenge of Courage and Change

        I would like to start with a truth, this week.  I usually throw a truth or two into the mix, at some point, but this time, I want to start with one that will set the stage for whatever it is that will come after the page break.  An important one, and somewhat multi-faceted.

        The truth:  I am not good with change.

         Now, don't get me wrong; I'm all in agreement with those who say to avoid labeling and absolutes, especially in describing ourselves.  I am.  Honest.  But I'm also very much aware that reality doesn't always agree with the same things with which I agree. 

        I've tried to embrace change; really, I have.  I've tried to accept it with grace, and open arms and mind, ready to greet the new tomorrow as it becomes today, full of promise and...stuff. 

        Change is challenging for me, for a number of reasons, mostly psychological, and emotional, just like for nearly anyone else who struggles with it.  I'm not even sure I can give you a definitive answer to why; other than fear, strain, and pain; past, present and/or future.  Even when the change is a positive one, and I'm expecting it, it can be stressful, and I do my best to adapt...and I've become fairly decent at adapting, even if I might still struggle with accepting. 

When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not yet ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back. A week is more than enough time for us to decide whether or not to accept our destiny.

~ Paulo Coelho

        Goodness, Paulo!  Tell it to me straight, will ya?
        Don't dance around the bush, here!  Sheesh!

        Accept my destiny?  Yes, I've had moments in my life when I've had the feeling that the future depends on "this" moment, and the choices I make herein.  I have to trust in an instant that the choices I make are going to lead me to a place that will bring me the kinds of good things that are best for me. 

        At other times, I find myself knocked over by something I had no idea was coming, and the results of the collision leave me reeling, disoriented and unsure.  In those moments, there is a sort of haze that keeps me trapped, as I bumble around, trying to get my bearings again.  In those moments, saying I am not yet ready is a bit of an understatement - and you're telling me that a week is more than enough time to decide what I'm going to do about it?

        Of course, there are situation contexts that range from one extreme to the other, and for the most part, they all fit within similar ideas.  Something happens, and we must choose what to do with/about it.  Each choice leads us to a new page in life, kind of like the Choose Your Own Adventure book series from the '80s-90s (oh yes I did just date myself!)...each choice leads to a different result, and so we must be willing to take each challenge, make each choice, and adapt to each, resulting change.

        *grumbles*

        Okay, so how do we find a healthy place between, "Woohoo let's try this road, and who cares where it leads?!", and, "Oh my, how on earth will I ever be able to choose?!" 

        I suppose there is value in ideas such as: embrace the power you have within your heart, and allow it to guide you through fear and into confidence.  I mean, I just came up with that, and it sounds pretty great, if I must say so myself.  And if this helps you, take it to heart and allow it to help you heal your anxious places and make you a stronger, healthier, braver human being!  You're welcome!

        The thing is that despite all the things that you have experienced that have led you to fear - and they were valid, significant and clearly very real for you - there have actually been just as many opportunities to learn self-confidence.  Sure, perhaps the choices that ended up getting you hurt may be seen as mistakes, but they also taught you some lessons about what you do and do not want in your life, if you can be brave enough to examine them.  In fact, I don't believe in "mistakes"; my feeling is that there are only choices with undesired consequences.  When seen in that light, we then have a choice to learn from the results, almost scientifically, rather than being overwhelmed by negative emotions.

        To be honest, though, as I have said from the beginning of the PB Project that I would try to be, this is a rather wicked and painful lesson I've learned over the past year, in particular, and I've wrestled with the balance I've described.  Do I simply pull away from every opportunity that appears to be leading toward the kinds of things that had me making choices which led to such lessons?  Do I lock myself up and keep myself away from any potential situation that would end up with my getting hurt?  How do I manage to keep myself safe, now that I know what being hurt can be like?

        On the other hand... if I do that, am I willing to give up opportunities for potential joy?  What about being able to contribute to this world in positive and constructive ways, if there is a risk of falling flat or getting hurt in other ways?  Am I willing to keep myself from risk, if it means that those opportunities that will then pass me by, might have led to achievements, growth, and the glow of accomplishment?  What am I willing to give up, in order to protect myself from getting hurt?  And... how much would giving all of that up hurt?

        Is there a balance?  Where is the healthy, happy medium?

        When life sets us that challenge, do we have the courage to stand up and be willing to accept it with grace?  Life definitely does not wait for us to muddle around, hem and haw, and try to put it off indefinitely!  Now is the time, and we must decide if we are going to let it pass us by, because the change will happen anyway, often in ways we wish it wouldn't have, if we do.

        You know the situation I mean.  I don't know your situation, and I don't know what challenges you face.  I simply know that you are facing one, or you wouldn't be thinking of it, right now.  What will you choose?  How will you greet the challenge of this moment?  Will you jump in, feet first, ready to run when you hit the ground?  Will you need help, and are you willing to look for, ask for, and accept it?  Are you willing to embrace change in a way that you can help direct, or are you just going to sit back and let the current of time throw you around like a leaf on the wind?
 
        I believe in us.  If that weren't true, I wouldn't be here, in many contexts of the term, and I wouldn't be offering you encouragement - what would be the point?  We may not see how it is possible, but we CAN keep looking for ways to make it so.  We can do this.  Even more so, together.

        Better days ahead, my friends!