Monday, May 15, 2017

A Bittersweet Break for a Day

        Hello my friends.  I'm just taking a moment to think out a few things, so I hope you don't mind if I take you with me?  Well, I suppose if you do, you can just stop reading, and no harm done!

        For those who do not live in areas like the US and other countries wherein May 14 fell on the day of the year designated to be celebrated as "Mother's Day" (the second Sunday in May), well, you've just been informed about it.  At likely best, that might be somewhat interesting to you; most likely, it's a fact you're hoping I'll have brought it up for good reason, and wait to see what it is.  And there is no right nor wrong perspective on it.  It is a fact, and this paragraph is not really saying much about it.  How about we move into something more engaging, hmm?

       We each have ways of facing days like these.  My way of dealing with them is not going to be the same as anyone else's, mostly because of context.  For example, if your history and experience with motherhood in its facets have been wonderful, you're going to likely adore a day created to celebrate that!  If it has been hurtful, painful, or has somehow created some kind of negative, emotional response, then you're more likely to at least avoid it, and at worst abhor it!  It is what we see it to be.

        As I explained in the above link, my perspective with Mother's Day has been one I try to focus around my own mother, and how my life fits in with what hers was, and what became of that combination of things.  Of course, there are always other factors involved in any situation in a life, but that has been most of my chosen focal point, because in the background I'm still sorting out and processing other aspects of my life, related to the spirit of the day.

        The thing is, I am fully aware that because any situation can be different for every person who experiences it, I believe I need to be accepting of that person's perspective and try to be empathetic with it.  That doesn't mean agree with everything someone else thinks, says, nor does; I simply try to understand with an empathic heart.  You are no more right nor wrong than I am, each given our own circumstances, but between us we can find peaceful connection, if we try.  Sometimes things like this can be absolutely blissful for some; other times absolute agony; many times it can be some kind of mixture between them and probably other things, as well.

        This year, my experience has been one of a mixture of feelings and activities.  This past week, out and about on some errands I don't get to do often, tired and a bit heavy-hearted, I was able to connect with one woman at a checkout counter, who clearly came away feeling much better about what her role was, having been able to be seen as worthy of calm and supportive attitude.  She was new, and having some troubles with some of the things which happened with the people ahead of me in line, she was clearly distressed and slightly disoriented by the time I got up to her.  She kept apologizing, and since I had some unusual circumstances with my transaction, I told her, as long as she was going to have to learn something new and possibly make a blunder, at least she was getting to do it with someone who was laidback and easy-going.  We made eye contact and I smiled at her, and she seemed to relax some.

        I happened to notice (go figure) she had a butterfly tattoo on her arm, and I've no idea why I asked it, as it might have been totally inappropriate, but I asked if it was a semicolon tattoo.  Her eyes got wide as she realized I knew what it was, and said, "No!  But my daughter told me she wants to get matching ones, because she wants to support me!"  You know, while I don't have them and have no opinion to venture here in the realm of tattoos, some of the stories of how and why people have them can move me to tears!  I told her of some of the beautifully- and artistically-crafted ways people have decorated using the symbol of "continuing on because the story isn't over yet", including incredible depictions of both butterflies and phoenixes, and her eyes just lit up!

        She admitted that she was suffering from a lot of anxiety and was only newly back to work, and I gave her some quick tips I've had to learn, like, "If someone's having a bad day and tries to scare you and make you feel bad, that is their bad day, not yours."  She was so excited to have someone "get it", it didn't even bother her that she had to go through a "process of learning" (some mistakes, some repeats), and I was just glad that of all the people to have this happening with her, it was someone laid-back and easy-going!

        And you know, that little exchange, which started with someone yelling at her and ended with someone smiling with her, completely brightened up my day and brought some light into it which I deeply needed, too.  Just thinking about her and her daughter makes my heart smile, even now!  It wasn't a big deal in the Grand Scheme, and only took about 10 minutes, but in hers and mine, it made a huge deal.  I needed to be reminded that light still exists in this world if we are willing to create, reflect, and shine it, and she needed to be reminded that love still exists in this world even if we don't always see it.

And you see, we can't see it, if we don't all work together:
we need the light, to see the love,
and we need the love to create the light.

        I guess I just have an unusual way of processing things, sometimes.  I started out thinking about how differently we view and contemplate things that can have a variety of effects on us, and ended up pondering a possibility of how and why they do, and how to maybe lighten and brighten it up for all of us.  No idea of it makes sense to anyone else, but I hope that someone can get something from it.  I know that for me, those little sparks or glimmers that help illuminate a heart are always needed, and I've never known a heart which didn't benefit from a little bit more.

        My friends, we are worth loving.  We are worthy of love and respect, from ourselves as much as anyone else.  You've seen it before on the PB Community Facebook Page, and we'll no doubt see it more, if we're willing to see and share it.  Just know... you are loved.

        Better days ahead, my friends!

©The Phoenix and The Butterfly

©The Phoenix and The Butterfly