The Weight I Carry in the Balance

"I wonder how much of what weighs me down is not mine to carry."

~ Aditi

       I read this on a meme, the other day, and I've seen the idea before, but it got me thinking quite a bit.  You might have seen my share of it on The Phoenix and The Butterfly Community Facebook Page.  If you did, you'll note that much of what I'm sharing here is based on what I said there, but so be it.  I can't always help it if one thing inspires another!

        Funny how such a seemingly small question can have such a huge impact on our lives when we take it seriously. I know this is one of those things in particular those who are empaths, and/or often victims of abuse, have a difficult time balancing, and it has been something with which I, myself, am very familiar.

        I think that is really what all those posts and memes are trying to say, that talk about eradicating people from our lives, or walking away, or whatever have you. I really have a hard time with those, because really, that isn't the answer you need, because if you keep doing that, you'll just end up always running away and never finding peace and balanced, healthy relationships.

        As it says in the meme's caption, you can't "fix" other people. We are not responsible for their thoughts, feelings, beliefs, reactions, behaviors... none of it. And yes, when we learn to determine who we are, what we need, and what we're willing to give in a very healthy, proactive way, and then begin the process of becoming stronger in setting and keeping healthy boundaries through practice, of course other people are going to be uncomfortable and even possibly resent having a wrench thrown in the works of their generally-well-oiled lives, much in part to our hard work at the oiling!

        But we are NOT responsible for their reactions - we do NOT own that! We have no right to selfishly steal and hoard the responsibilities others have for their own selves. We have the responsibility to our own, self-care and developing our own, healthy, internal balance so we can carry that responsibility with wisdom and personal power.

        I had to learn that a hard way - I mean a really, really hard way - and that is one of those things that I find truly important for people to learn, because as it says, much of what weighs us down is often not even ours. What kind of strength, energy and power could we wield if we claimed our own, and only our own? Only one way to find out! It isn't easy, it takes time, and can be painful, just like working to strengthen any other, muscle group. But dang, is it worth it!

        And so are we.

        Better days ahead, my friends!