I'd not yet even seen the headstone. I've wanted to go for years, esp since I'll never again see the place where we placed my mother's ashes to rest since her passing in 2006. It's been a battle, fighting demons of the past, and not just mine.
Looking at that stone felt surreal. My friend and I were somewhat pressed for time, so we could only spend a few minutes there, but all I wanted was to see it, really. I think I was hoping for some kind of closure.
Did I get it? Actually, I'm not sure. Looking at his name, there, carved into marble with the dates of both the beginning and ending of his time here, I don't know how to describe it. But one thing is certain:
I am no longer the girl whose parents passed years ago. I am stronger in some ways, and yet weaker in others; more fearless, and though in some ways I simply have different fears; more vibrant, if only by having let go of some of the extraneous shades that kept me from seeing true beauty in my life.
Sometimes it is in looking back, that we see how far we've come. Here's to finding the jewels in the rough spots of our lives.
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