A Caterpillar by Any Other Name

Now here comes an interesting topic for Dear, Ol' PB!

 It's like Christine knew I'd be coming along, eventually. ;)

"How does one become a butterfly?

You must want to fly so much that

you are willing to give up being a 

caterpillar."

~ Trina Paulus

Are you willing to give up being a caterpillar?

        I remember how this whole, "PB" thing came to be.  There were a number of things that led to it, of course, but the first, major one, I think, came along when I realized I needed to make a shift from one former blog project to another.  There wasn't anything wrong with the previous project (I may even go back to updating it, again, at some point); there had simply come a point at which I needed to change things to match the changes within me.

        So... I made some tough decisions about the name and meaning of the thing. And I created the PB blog (which you're reading).  And I set up the format, including choosing the iconic image (which is a raw shot I captured at a rather wonderful moment of my life... I use it to remind me of the hope I felt that day).  And I created an opening post, which was something like, "This is a test post, while I get things set up...".  

And then... I had no idea what to do with it.

        So...the blog sat, for a number of months.  I kept trying to come up with what I wanted to do... but kept coming up with only half-baked ideas.  I just couldn't find a solid premise, to begin.  And it was very important to me that I do it the right way... it was just that I couldn't see what the right way was!

        One day, I had posted on my Timeline of a certain, popular, social-networking website, that it would be nice to have more positivity in our lives.  The response was rather huge!  It seemed that many of those I knew were feeling the same way, and when I suggested a new Page, set up to gather and share positive energy, quite a few were excited!

        Right about that time, I read the newsletter of a motivational speaker/life coach, and in it she shared the theory of another, powerful motivational personality, which included the idea that, to live a fuller, more on-purpose sort of life, scare yourself out of your comfort zone, once a week. 

        And it got me thinking, wondering what could *I* do, to scare myself in a way that would move me forward?  This question, combined with the enthusiastic response to the group/Page idea, steered me right into creating the PB Project, complete with blog and Facebook community page, which grew from those, probably ten or so, into... well, evidently there are some who have thought what has been done here has been worthy of their "official" support, seen in the Likes the Project has received.

        Having witnessed what I have witnessed within the Project, alone... my sense of life, itself, has been dramatically changed!  I've tried very hard to stay focused on things pertinent to the community, in general, basing the FB stuff on either egocentric-oriented moods, or hopefully, more often, focusing on the general feeling I've been sensing in the members' comments and such.  Of course, my sense of humor can be kinda random, so occasionally a bit of that slips through, too.  Ahem.

        However, the question Christine asked is not about the past. 

Are you willing to give up being a caterpillar?

        This time of year, things seem a bit gray for me, and this year has felt incredibly more so, for various reasons.  Therefore, in the interest of fair disclosure, I'll admit that my first response was to do a quick inventory of my life, sigh and think, "Am I sure I'm not moving backward through that sequence?"  And what can I really answer, to that?  Actually that's a topic for another post, another day.

        In some ways, though, I've been making my way through the thorny undergrowth, trying to snatch whatever snippets of sunlight I can see, for a very long time.  I've let go of a lot of "baggage", am working on getting rid of some more, and am in the process of gathering the knowledge and energy I'll need to sustain me in the future. 

        I've been attempting to create a new, personal, support network, and let go of those who simply don't care enough to join me on the same path.  I've been trying to become a better human... hoping one day I'll find a way to spread proverbial wings and fly!  Some days I highly doubt the possibility... but for the most part, tiny steps are being taken - slowly, but forward.

        My most truthful answer, then, is simply... I don't know.  I want to give up a lot of things, but a massive change like that?  The caterpillar takes some time, too, to perform the incredible feat of rebirth... so I cannot expect anything else, from myself.  I am moving forward, so therefore, I suppose I'm doing it, even if the Cha Cha feels more backward than actual progress, at times.

        There you have it, my friends.  Life is sometimes unsure, messy, chaotic, disorienting, and a bunch of other, similar adjectives.  On the other hand, there are possibilities for surety, clarity, purpose, and the like, too.  We are each on our own journey to find the true colors of our wings.  Fortunately, we don't have to walk the path alone, if we walk it together.

        Better days ahead, my friends!