Okay..so I mentioned last week, as I have before, that I'm a little squirmy with the holiday observance thing. But you know... there are some pretty powerful thingies that can be related to the reasons we celebrate those other thingies! And I'm all for acknowledging and celebrating powerful, worthwhile thingies! For instance, there is light, hope, courage... and of course love. So please bear with me as I continue to take advantage of the spirit of the month with my topics.
This past week or so, I've had plenty of reason and opportunity to consider the many facets of love, and there are so many, I'm not going to even pretend to cover them all, here! But one aspect came to light, in particular, and since I'd already considered it as a worthwhile topic, it seemed as good as any.
My basic question, all boiled down, is simply:
How do I express love?
Of course I could start quoting research and give examples of ways people with expert titles have found to label such things, but really, this isn't an academic paper, so please forgive the lack of footnotes and references. This is mostly going to be based on my own, personal observations, anyway, so I've not even done the research. (That was the warning and excuse label.)
But how do I express love? It's actually kind of strange, I guess; people tend to think I'm a bit... unusual... when it comes to expressing love and affection. I tend to be very open and liberal with love and praise, but honest, like I am with most other things. This is great if you're happy for unusual observations of ways that you are worth loving. It's not so great if you are worried about unusual observations about you, at all. Because chances are, if I take notice, I'll see it; if I see it, odds are good you'll find out about it, at least eventually. I'm not exactly good with that, whole, social protocols thing. Especially when it comes to well-deserved compliments! I'm one of those love-me-or-think-I'm-weird-or-both, kind of people, I guess.
We don't do tons of gifts and such, here at our house. We've been together long enough to have figured out how to get along, and... well... sometimes love means never having to say, "Um, sorry, but can we take this back?" Ahem. Instead we do something together that fits what we can do. Most recently, meaning the past, few years or so, our winter holidays of Thanksgiving and Christmas are spent allowing me to have fun scrounging up whatever we have in our food inventory and making a lovely meal of it, with my trusty assistant who dislikes cooking but doesn't mind prep and cleanup (and having leftovers) - because sometimes love means being able to compromise, especially when the compromise fits each party perfectly! Since I've so many dietary restrictions that make being invited to celebrations with other people... inconvenient... staying home and making do with what we have is our way of embracing reality with a positive energy.
In the early spring is our anniversary, and late spring/early summer is my birthday, and for one or both of those days, we do a simple "celebration" of blowing bubbles, either on the front porch or in the park - because sometimes love means reminding each other, and ourselves, of the little things that make our hearts work well, together. Our hearts are typically not like other kinds of hearts, it seems, and sitting there, blowing bubbles together, is something that just feels good, for no reason but because our hearts speak that silent, simple language, together. It also makes people watch us in wonder, and sometimes changes the way they go about their day, which makes us smile, too.
I'm a hugger, a nurturer, and an encourager. My Mother Hen and Mama Bear are very strong. I have incredible patience, unless you're disrespectful, hurtful or just a plain jerk. I'm the one a friend can contact in the middle of the night, just to connect.
Granted, that is partially because I'm usually awake all night... but eh lol!
One thing I've learned about myself, on the other hand, is I tend to let my heart lead my way, which can be great for some purposes, but can play havoc in other ways. There have been a number of times when someone will be talking to me and say, "I can't believe I'm telling you this!" It's amazing what a heart can say to other hearts, when it speaks the language common to what seems to be all hearts - I have made many friends, all around the world, and in every country and culture I've been honored to glimpse through the eyes of those with whom I've become acquainted, I have found it to be true. Our hearts all speak the same language. In my culture and language, we might call it a number of things, but the most common would probably be simply: "love".
The trouble with deep, strong emotions and a powerful sense of empathy, is that one can be swept off in the currents of others' own experiences. It has taken some time for me to work on being more mindful of my inner workings, so that I can then begin to work on disentangling my own from those of others. By my nature, I do not see us as different people, in a sense, but it is impractical to live with this perspective leading my choices and behavior, because it can lead to all kinds of issues! Instead, I seek to learn about people. I want to understand them. I want to know what makes each one unique, and how that uniqueness fits in with the collective of humanity. And the reason I want to know, is because that special, individual being has value. It has beauty and purpose and meaning, and somehow, that fits in the fabric of all of human kind. Each person matters, and I want to connect with that part of them that makes them unique, and let them see that they do matter.
I suppose I've at least hinted at that idea, here in the PB Project, especially on the PB Project Facebook Community Page. Every day I search to find ideas and messages that could reach at least one person who needs to see it. I don't mind how many are following, the Page nor the blog, here; I simply hope that it does some good, for someone, somewhere, at some time. Or something. ;)
To be honest, I don't know if I've really answered this properly, but at least it gives a tiny view of inner workings that, as I said, might touch someone into realizing they aren't the only one! As pragmatic as I can be, I do have a very sensitive emotion base, and so I have deeply appreciated that those who visit and take part of the PB Project have been kind, considerate, respectful and loving, in return. Since you are one of them... I thank you!
Better days ahead, my friends!
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