I'm not sure how to describe this week's post, actually. It could be seen as part macabre, and part inspiration, perhaps? Don't worry, though...I have young friends who read this blog, so I'm going to do my best to keep it in the spirit of the PB Project in general. It's just that I found this quote and it has been nudging me for ages, begging to be used, and I've not been giving it its due, so...here we go.
No idea what I'll be writing after this, but hopefully it will be worth reading!
I think humans might be like butterflies; people die every day without many other people knowing about them, seeing their colors, hearing their stories... and when humans are broken, they're like broken butterfly wings; suddenly there are so many beauties that are seen in different ways, so many thoughts and visions and possibilities that form, which couldn't form when the person wasn't broken! So it is not a very sad thing to be broken, after all! It's during the times of being broken, that you have all the opportunities to become things unforgettable! ... But butterflies need to know, that it doesn't matter at all if the whole world saw their colors or not! But what matters is that they flew, they glided, they hovered, they saw, they felt, and they knew! And they loved the ones whom they flew with! And that is an existence worthwhile!
~ C. JoyBell C.
When I first read this quote, I nearly (or may have actually) cried. You may have noticed I have a thing for butterflies, and that alone had this touching my heart. But the content, too, is just so beautiful, and speaks right to me in my experience.
I said in the "preface" of this post that there might he a touch of the macabre in here, somewhere. What I meant is that this quote has some rather deep reflections in it, especially within my perspective as I read it. Because in many ways, my heart relates to it all, too well. And quite frankly, I've been relatively open and fairly honest with you all along, as I said I would do my best to do, so you're going to be getting part of my personal experience with it.
I chose the Phoenix and the Butterfly for a reason, in the contemplation of this project. For a number of years, I had been searching for a symbol or symbols of some type that would represent how I feel about my life, and the processes I have experienced within it. As I searched, I came across the ideas of totems, in birth and by choice, and reading up, the butterfly seemed a beautiful choice for a natural totem, because I have always seen my life as a process of changing, growing and developing into something more, as time goes by, and I've no idea what lies in store when I emerge from whatever chrysalis from which I'll eventually find myself breaking free.
And of course the phoenix is a symbol of continual rebirth, and I have felt my life has been fragmented many times into segments wherein I have lived a period of my life, had it fall apart or crushed into something unrecognizable, and then in time it simply infuses me with breath again, and living begins anew, much differently than ever before.
This quote is very soothing and encouraging to my heart, in some ways. I have always wanted my experience to have mattered. I recently said in another post, I remember making the promise (as a young teen of something like 12 or 13) that if my pain and other experiences could benefit even one, other person...then I was willing to go through and endure whatever this life decided to throw at me, and use it to the benefit of whomever I could.
I was loving and naïve,
but even then didn't want to live a life that never mattered.
I couldn't bear the idea that my having existed meant nothing in the Grand Scheme of Things, and I hoped that someday, somehow, I'd be able to make myself amount to something, perhaps in the face of whatever would happen.
As this quote reflects, however, it doesn't even matter if nothing comes of my having lived this "dream" of existence, as don Miguel Ruiz called it in The Four Agreements. The mere fact that I have been here, experiencing this life, learning and developing in hopefully worthwhile ways, is enough. Anything I do to influence this world for the better is a wonderful bonus!
There are times I feel broken, as this quote describes. In fact, these days I'm simply trying to come to terms with the fact that things within me and my life simply are what they are, and I won't likely get to feel completely whole again. I know that there are times when nearly all of us feel at least some form or type of this, if not so extreme. It seems to be a feature of this life experience, that we endure some form of brokenness at some point, in some way. And it is true that it is in that state of disarray, disorientation, chaos, lostness, and/or disillusionment, that we find our greatest source of wisdom and growth. (*grumbles at the cliches regarding the matter*)
In its way, this is a beautiful thing, in reality.
We have the opportunity to be born, become wise,
and then leave this world enriched by our experience, in some form!
Certainly this is something worth celebrating!
Is that not why so many celebrate the anniversary of our coming into this world,
and give some kind of ceremonial farewell at our coming out of it?
My friends, regardless of the circumstances of our experience upon this earth, the mere presence of us is a unique and special addition to the earth's own existence! And by trying to leave a positive, lasting impact, be it public, or private through our bringing up, or our helping in the bringing up, of children; influencing the lives around us; and other, such things, we add to the beauty and magnificence that is this world. Never doubt that we have the opportunity to be something important - we already are!
I guess my hope is that through the creation and continuance of the PB Project, via the blog, the PB Facebook Community Page, the PB Pinterest boards, and the (as of yet unknown) growth into the future, my having been here, and the things I've gained along the way, will mean more than my potential future as I currently see it. Not that I'm taking all my stock in a future that has not been revealed yet, but...I still feel that I have much to accomplish yet, and need to do it as much as I can, while I still can. And I am grateful for the chance to see that limit, so that I can make the most of what I have, whatever it might prove to be!
So my friends, be brave!
Jump in!
Follow your heart,
and do what you can, now,
to make of your wings all that they have the potential to be!
Because you are a phenomenal gift to his world,
if you are willing to be brave enough to prove it.
Better days ahead, my friends!
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