The Non-Post Post

        This is a non-post post.

        Because sometimes it's just appropriate to have a non-post post, and this seems like one of those times.

        I have been trying to write posts for a couple of weeks, now, and I get started and then... it just doesn't happen.  Actually, that happens more than you'd think, but usually, somehow I either find the magic which saves the day, or I end up finding an older post and share it to the PB Facebook Community Page.  I'm guessing part of my stuttering more this past year with the posts is partly to do with not having a source of inspiration like I had a couple of years ago. 

        

        Perhaps it's good to let the "writer's block" have a rest, and just deal with life as it comes until the block feels ready to lift again.  And that's okay.  I don't think I'm burned out by writing, actually, anyway.  I do know I'm burned out and a bit exhausted, and have been for a while, and perhaps it's one of those gray periods which sometimes accompanies Bipolar II, which is one of a large number of illnesses my body has seen fit to throw at me. And I would be a hypocrite to not give myself the mindful self-compassion I encourage others to maintain, via the PB Project and elsewhere.  Times like this, I like to say I'm not being a hypocrite, but I am demonstrating I understand it is not as easy as it sounds like it should be. 

Because it isn't as easy as it sounds like it should be.
And we all know it.

        Why is it so difficult, anyway?  Why do so many of us struggle with just taking a step back and allowing ourselves the room to rest the part(s) of us which are weary, before they start shutting down?  Why do we feel like we are supposed to just "push through" and try to ignore what our bodies, minds and psyches are telling us?  And why can't we give each other that same measure of compassion and respect, in our families, communities, and the workforce?  I mean, seriously?

        I've found that sometimes we don't even realize that we're wearing down.  We have learned to ignore those moments of exhaustion and distraction that often signal our need to just take a step back and recharge.  We push forward, until our bodies inform us in no uncertain terms that they're not happy with us... and then, simply give in to the inevitable: often decreased immunity and other signs of long-term stress, leaving us facing everything from the common cold and flu, to greater issues like injury, autoimmunity, and the damage that comes from chronic stress and strain.  We run until we collapse from the strain, and then we are forced to take that time to rest, when it is often too late to salvage more than a portion of the health we had before it.

"If I'd only known then what I know now!"  

        Since I already have a number of those effects, including the autoimmunity and chronic, long-term damage partly compounded by a rare, genetic disease I had no idea I had, my ability to run has been reduced to a hobble, both literally and figuratively.  I have been forced to find a way to have a positive impact on this world, not the way I might have hoped, but through discovering alternative, creative means.  In my search for something to give my life renewed meaning and purpose, I somehow managed to create and run the PB Project itself, the blog posts running nearly every week, and the Facebook component almost each day, typically twice a day, since late Spring, 2013!  It has so far pulled me through the darkest days of those, three years, and given me a sense of connection, direction, and responsibility, which has helped me feel that my life has value, even when I've not been able to see it for myself.  Added to it an offline series of opportunities like volunteering in the community, I have aligned myself with the positive energy which has created light and hope for me and those I've had the opportunity to serve in my simple but hopefully helpful endeavors.

        

        And yet, I've also been learning as time goes on and my body continues to throw new and improved types of tantrums against me, in order for me to continue providing these kinds of personally-feeding experiences for myself and others, I absolutely must be mindful of my physical, mental and emotional states and conditions, so that I can rest when necessary and restore myself and not get too drained and burned out.  Since I'm currently writing a non-post post, resulting from a type of burnout I've just explained I try to avoid... yeah.  Clearly I'm not the world's leading authority and example of the idea!

        However, sometimes it's best to teach by example, and I could just say that's what I'm doing!

        And you'd believe me, right?

        Um... yeah.  Okay, maybe not so much ,especially since you've read this far, already.  But at least you know I'm working on it.  And that's all we can really do.

        So what's the moral of this non-post post?  I suppose it is whatever you take from it, of course!

        Better days ahead, my friends!