We're going to be doing things a bit differently this week, my friends. Whether we like it or not!
Due to some circumstances out of my control, I was unable to solidify permission to use information for the post I'd been preparing, so I've been left to wander the archives, once again. But this time, I found one on which I'd like to comment, as well, so here we go: a post about a post!
As I looked through the archives, I stumbled across a post which caught my eye, and as I read it, I was amazed, not only at what I read, but the memories it invoked and how far I've come, since then!
In said post, I described a number of things: the train of thought brought on by an experience which cause a massive amount of stress for me, and a variety of familiar, but undesired side effects of that stress. As I read through the post, I am now far enough removed from the situation that I can look back on it with more objective eyes, and find myself fascinated with the differences - and similarities - between then and now! How amazing it is, to be able to look back on something through two pairs of my own eyes, at the same time! I have always, privately journaled, but I'm not one to go back and read my journals, and so to see what I experienced and how I shared this here is really interesting to me.
One nice thing about this, is that looking back from my current perspective, I can identify how far I've come, since that time. I've worked very hard to develop skills which can counteract a lot of those responses I had to such stress, back then, and while I'm sorry to say I'm not as far along in perfecting them as I would like to be, the only way to perfect such things is practice, and I'm grateful to say I've not had as many opportunities to practice as I would need to achieve perfection!
However, I have actually learned a great deal, and have been doing a lot of things to increase my mental and emotional strength and resiliency. I am less likely to get as stressed by the same factors, and when I am, I'm more able to cope, or at least have more skills to do so. That isn't to say that I have not experienced that kind of response, since then, but there have been so few examples, I'm only aware of once or twice in all that time, and that is a huge, huge improvement!
These days, I am not able to reach out to do some of those things I used as coping mechanisms as in the past, so I've had to change the way I face and deal with things which come up. In that, I am still struggling to find balance, but I suppose, perhaps in another two years when I am able to look back at this and review, I'll find it and see I've come to surprise myself, all over again! Who knows how I'll be after I'm sort of forced to figure it out for myself, and get creative? That seems to be a running theme in my life, after all! I don't think I'd have made it as far as I have, if I didn't have that sort of skill set quietly working in the background!
So this has been a sort of different post, but I couldn't help but feel a bit awestruck as I read and realized how different things can be, even in subtle, but powerful ways. I would imagine I am not the only one to have had situations like that, wherein I've looked back at a time when things were different, and noticed changes and growth in some areas, and perhaps some new, apparent weaknesses. Those apparent weaknesses are also a sign of growth, by the way: if we hadn't have moved forward, we wouldn't know that those weaknesses exist. So don't lose sight of the fact that change means movement, and opportunities for new choices which can move us either further down the same path, or in a different one entirely. That is the precious gift of mindfulness at work.
Better days ahead, my friends!
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