Boundaries for Those who Feel with No Bounds

Dear empath friend:

        Allow me to teach you something very important you must learn in order to survive. I had to learn it the hard way, and you probably have been learning it, too, but might not realize it.

        Boundaries are not as important as you think they are. They are more important than you might believe. They are the difference between loving service and being used; friendship and emotional vampires; family and manipulation; abuse and self-respect.

        You must, MUST learn and embrace the way of the healthy empath. You must, or life will drain you, use you up, break you, then spit you out and leave you when you've nothing left to give. All because it's easier to do what eases the cacophony and chaos of emotion, which begins the cycle that you need to learn to stop. You deserve to stop it. You need to!

You might have noticed.

It sounds melodramatic but you probably know what I mean already.

        There is nothing wrong with you, sweetheart. You have a beautiful sensitivity and it can be hard to navigate; that's all. You are amazing, and I'm proud of you for making it this far. You are right to be proud of you, too! 

        But you need to learn how boundaries work, and why other people don't like them, because as you develop them, those who are used to using will resist the changes. It upsets the balance. And, quite frankly, you'll then begin to learn which of your relationships were healthy to begin with. But you need not fear that distance that might be then created, because that is where you learn your strength. That is where your journey begins. Because then it is in your power to choose, which is the greatest gift of all.

The hard news: it isn't easy.
The good news: it's worth it, and you're not alone.

         I'm not a professional therapist; professor; researcher; nor expert in anything, in particular. I won't claim to be a source of great education, because everything I've learned has come from both personal experience and searching for answers to questions of my own and those around me who have discussed such things with me. I can't say what is the best thing for anyone else to do, and I certainly won't claim to have it all figured out. My own perspective is that we're all just figuring things out as we go, and we can all learn from each other. But mostly, this paragraph is my telling you that I'm aware this post isn't going to have all your answers, and that's okay. We learn from each other, and sometimes simply knowing you're not alone is the best thing we can learn from anyone. My goal is mostly to give you the opportunity to think about some questions you might have had about your life, and some directions into which you might look for answers to them.

        I think that is certainly and by far the best thing I could share with you, anyway.

        Better days ahead, my friends!