I need to give you a bit of a disclaimer, this time. Well, maybe not a "disclaimer", but more like... a warning?
Nah, not so much of a "warning" as perhaps... notification?
Um... that sounds so business like! I'm not a bill collector!
Just letting you know...
I found this quote, as I was enjoying reading quotes from one of my favorite book series, and when I read the quote, it reminded me of reading another favorite, The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. So suddenly I'm swimming in memories and philosophy - and dry, but somewhat silly humor. But the quote has a lot of value, to me, so I'm sharing it. Obviously.
“It is folly to say you know what is happening to other people.
Only they know, if they exist.
They have their own Universes of their own eyes and ears.”
~ Douglas Adams
The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
This idea can extend beyond an individual incident, too. Two siblings, for instance, might have a quite drastic difference in their perceptions of their childhoods, even growing up in the same home and having the same experiences; their parents might recollect the experiences entirely otherwise, too. Two employees might consider the same work environment and coworkers completely differently. It all depends on a whole, lot of factors, and each one contributes something powerful to the whole. Therefore, the idea that we each live in our own Universes of (our) own eyes and ears holds merit!
We are are all living these experiences, perceiving our lives through our senses: what our eyes see, ears hear, and so on; and we then take that input and filter it through the lenses of our mental resources, forming opinions and "agreements" as Ruiz called it. If you could see what I call, "pink", in the way that my eyes see it, you might actually think it was, "green", according to the way your eyes see it. If you heard a voice the way I do, you might think it was wonderful, when it might grate my nerves when hearing it the way you do! Does that make sense? Our own bodies develop the way they do, individually, and we just learn to agree that whatever this color is, we'll call it red.
I think... if we were able and willing to develop the mindset that we each have our own perceptions of our own Universe, and each is valid according to the experience within it, perhaps it would allow us to develop more understanding and empathy, rather than feelings of offense or threat, when someone does not agree with us. There is no reason to think that a person hates us, and will reject us, casting us out of our common society and leaving us to fend for ourselves, simply because they believe that a different company makes a better product; a different form of faith is more pertinent for their lives; or one project is a higher priority than another! I don't know what causes people to disagree where you are, but you probably get the idea. We needn't feel that our universe hangs in the balance when someone either agrees or disagrees with us!
Maybe this week, we could take some time to think about those with whom we disagree, and try to see things from their view - we could even ask them their perspective, and listen with eagerly open minds, to actually see things as they see them! Because who knows; we might find that the dream of their Universe is an incredibly beautiful experience, which we might love to share!
Better days ahead, my friends!
The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
What a concept, hmm? A lot of what Don Miguel Ruiz describes in his work, as I understand it, is about how our own perception of reality is just that: our own perception, and not necessarily the only "reality", and compares our experience of that perception to be like a dream which we each create of our own awareness. But I'm not a scholar, and I'm not doing a piece on the philosophy of anyone, in particular. Mostly I'm just tying the names together as a memory, kind of soft and fuzzy around the edges. Because in reality, I think they are saying the same thing, and it is something I've been learning, myself, in one way or another.
Have you ever experienced, or heard of, experiments related to witnessing events? When I was about 13 or so, I had a teacher of World Geography (a subject I was ironically abysmal in studying and absorbing, given I now communicate with people all around the world in ways that were unheard of back in the da-- Wow! Did I just seriously date myself, or what? Ack!) While I was not particularly effective at learning and retaining this subject, I was able to have an experience in this teacher's classroom I've evidently taken with me, throughout my life!
One day, we were all moping around, getting ready for class to start, and the teacher came in, put his books down at the front, and then an older boy burst in, yelling at the teacher! Suddenly they were in a rather physical altercation, wherein the teacher grabbed the boy by the shirt and dragged him out of the classroom! We students were all quite shocked, naturally, and after a few moments of stunned silence, as kids of that age will do, we started giggling and talking about what we had just seen. We were quickly quieted, however, when the teacher returned a few minutes later.
"Class, please take out a blank piece of paper and write down every detail you can remember of what just happened. Do not speak to each other, so your memory will be exactly as you saw it happen. You are now all witnesses to this event, so please be accurate for the record." The teacher's voice was very low and serious, and we immediately set to writing the assignment, believing that our teacher's job might even hang in the balance - having a physical fight with a kid?!
After we had been given time to write out what we'd seen, our teacher explained that what we had witnessed had been set up by him, to help us understand the idea that each person sees things differently, from their own, unique perspective. One might have seen the kid as blonde, wearing a blue t-shirt, and yelling that the teacher had bad hair as the teacher grabbed him by the hair and dragged him out; another might have seen the kid as being a redhead, wearing a purple sweater, and yelling that the teacher had an ugly nose as the teacher grabbed him by the shoulders and shoved him out; and so on, as memories have a tendency to blend and smear upon recollection!
This idea can extend beyond an individual incident, too. Two siblings, for instance, might have a quite drastic difference in their perceptions of their childhoods, even growing up in the same home and having the same experiences; their parents might recollect the experiences entirely otherwise, too. Two employees might consider the same work environment and coworkers completely differently. It all depends on a whole, lot of factors, and each one contributes something powerful to the whole. Therefore, the idea that we each live in our own Universes of (our) own eyes and ears holds merit!
We are are all living these experiences, perceiving our lives through our senses: what our eyes see, ears hear, and so on; and we then take that input and filter it through the lenses of our mental resources, forming opinions and "agreements" as Ruiz called it. If you could see what I call, "pink", in the way that my eyes see it, you might actually think it was, "green", according to the way your eyes see it. If you heard a voice the way I do, you might think it was wonderful, when it might grate my nerves when hearing it the way you do! Does that make sense? Our own bodies develop the way they do, individually, and we just learn to agree that whatever this color is, we'll call it red.
If we find that we disagree with someone,
why is it we so often become emotionally involved with our response?
"You're wrong!" "Oh yeah? You're a moron!" "You think so, huh? Well, you...."
Get what I mean?
I think... if we were able and willing to develop the mindset that we each have our own perceptions of our own Universe, and each is valid according to the experience within it, perhaps it would allow us to develop more understanding and empathy, rather than feelings of offense or threat, when someone does not agree with us. There is no reason to think that a person hates us, and will reject us, casting us out of our common society and leaving us to fend for ourselves, simply because they believe that a different company makes a better product; a different form of faith is more pertinent for their lives; or one project is a higher priority than another! I don't know what causes people to disagree where you are, but you probably get the idea. We needn't feel that our universe hangs in the balance when someone either agrees or disagrees with us!
Maybe this week, we could take some time to think about those with whom we disagree, and try to see things from their view - we could even ask them their perspective, and listen with eagerly open minds, to actually see things as they see them! Because who knows; we might find that the dream of their Universe is an incredibly beautiful experience, which we might love to share!
Better days ahead, my friends!
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