Controlling... What Lies Within

        I think I'm going to have to preface this maybe mostly, magically manic, Motivational Monday post, by saying the following:

        I have no idea what I'm about to say to you.  Not a clue.  Nope.  I've got nothin'.

        This week's question has me kind of stumped.  I realize this might be a good thing, in that it means there is currently "untapped potential" floating around that brain I carry around in my head.  It means I've something new to consider, and something with which I could embarrass myself, quite gloriously.

        Wait...that last part kinda goes against Christine's section for this week. 
            *mumbles something like, "Okay already."* 
                  Let's get on with it, shall we?

"What lies behind us
and what lies before us
are small matters

compared to what lies within us."
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

What situation will you control this week
by controlling your reaction?

        Clearly this blog post isn't my best example of this question's answer.  Well...it's great, as an honest example of what she probably didn't mean!  At the moment, though, I'm feeling like "what lies within" my head are just empty bubbles, full of air.

        I suppose Mr. Emerson had a great point, in that quote.  It doesn't matter where we started, nor where we think we're headed.  Whatever we have within us - our personality, preferences, integrity, honesty, and other factors - will ultimately swing us through the jungle of our lives, to bring us to our ultimate fate.  If, of course, you like somewhat-overused metaphors, and believe in fate...though in this case, "fate" is used in a more generic way than some believe.  But I've sort of wandered away from my point again, haven't I?

        It is through the choices we make every, single day, that we arrive wherever we end up at the end of our lives.  Yes, I realize that a lot of where we end up has to do with circumstances beyond our control (believe me, I do understand that), but our choices decide whether they drag us down or lift us up.

        Now, I know that there are people who would immediately jump up with reasons why they can't help but be dragged down by their circumstances, and argue that they have all the reason in the world to be respected for their misery, and how dare I be the chirpy, little, super sunshine-carrying cliche thrower!  I agree 100% about giving respect in general (I've no reason to disrespect anyone), and the only times I throw cliches around is when I'm playing with them, or being annoyed by them.  (This paragraph brought to you by countless comments on the internet along that line...more, no doubt coming to a social network near you!)

        However, I've a hard time with statements by miserable people who claim they have no choice but to be miserable, bitter and vindictive.  How could I feel that way?  Because I've seen just as many (if not more) people trying to find light in their lives.  Even the tiniest stars in the night skies of their experience...something that pulls them up and gives them hope for better things. 

        Unfortunately, the people who try to drag those people down like crabs in a bucket, are only making their own lives miserable, and trying to darken the lives of others can't brighten their own.  I'm saddened by this process, because those miserable people are playing the victim to circumstances in which they don't have to give up hope!

        I've a sweet, whanau sister who is in the final stage of cancer.  She's one of the sweetest women I know, and has had a rough time of life, all the way around it.  Her immediate family and friends have done what they can to help her, and they, too, have huge loads to bear.  When I've visited her, sometimes it has been just lying beside her on her bed, holding her hand and listening as she tries to whisper a story she feels important for me to know, between her moments of dozing off, as the pain often keeps her in a floating fog. 
     
        She and her loving husband, like so many, have such a horrible battle they are fighting against the C Monster - and yet, while they have their moments of discouragement and the weight of grief, when visiting, I'm treated with such love and generosity, it nearly escapes comprehension.  They could be raging with bitterness, every moment, but instead they try to emanate love, whenever possible.

        Getting my drift?  Since this personal challenge is, well, personal, I suppose it would do for me to shine this back to myself.

What situation will I control this week

by controlling my reaction?

        Admittedly, when I considered this Project, before I created the blog, and long before the Facebook page was even an idea, the thought of doing something like this was as much to help save myself as to hopefully help others.  I'm one of those people who tends to reach out to help others, when in fact I'm needing to feel like who I am and what I do, matter. 

        I don't believe people can do something for others, on any scale, without being benefited themselves in some way, be it financially, emotionally, socially, etc..  Humans just don't work that way; we're living creatures out to survive, as it is in our genetic wiring to do so.  So my admitting this doesn't shame me; I'm a pragmatic sort of person, too.

        I must also admit...that this Project has likely saved my life, more than once.  By forcing myself, at the very least, to scroll down my Pages Feed to find posts worth sharing...I've forced myself to focus on something positive, every day.
 
        When a person is living in a world of various forms of pain, with a body that gives the brain all kinds of incorrect signals in sensory and thought...naturally some days will be darker than others.  That's just the way it is.  I try to get up every day, change my clothes, brush my teeth and comb my hair, however that may be possible for that day.  I try to eat something moderately healthy if possible, too.  I also try to do something that contributes to my world, be it for myself, my home, my loved ones, my life or the Project.

        So that, when the day is done, I have at least tried.

        To answer that question, What situation will I control this week by controlling my reaction?  I guess I'll have to say, I'm going to keep trying.  I'm going to try to keep going.  I'm going to try to be gentle and loving with myself and others. I'm going to try to keep working on making some kind of positive contribution, even if it's only a smile shared or a kind word offered.  Because it matters.  It does.

        There you go.  I guess I had something, after all.

        Better days ahead, my friends.