In this week's
"Learn from yesterday,
live for today,
hope for tomorrow."
~ Albert Einstein
"What are you hoping for this week?" Christine asks.
This man is a huge and very much loved example to me, and I have been grateful for his place in my life. He was telling me about his latest adventure in searching out relief for his debilitating pain, which sounds as though it will add to his pain before it relieves it, and as we discussed how healing can consist of pain, in and of itself, he said to me, "Hope itself can aid in healing." "True. It can," I said.
For me, the answer to the question, "What are you hoping for this week?" changes from week to week. But this week? Good question.
To be honest, hope is one of those tricky subjects, much of the time. I can have hope for my brother and his treatment, so that he can live a full, comfortable life with his amazing, lovely wife and beautiful kids whom I adore.
I can have hope that my sweet, beautiful sister of my heart will find her battle with the C-Monster will be eased and her last days on earth can be sweet to her and her incredible strong and loving husband, and their kids who have had a life that no one would wish for children: to grow up in a home where their mother has had a fight for her life, almost as long as they've been alive.
I can have hope for my friends and other family, whose hearts are burdened with Life as it seems to tap into their deepest fears, hurts and regrets, taunting them as they struggle to keep moving forward.
I can have hope that people I love will forgive the burden that I and my illnesses have caused them, in whatever form that that has taken for them. I can hope to have the ability to lift that weight from their lives, so I am not just another thing they have to either manage, work around or ignore altogether.
Because... I think no matter what my body nor my mind can throw at me,
nothing hurts like knowing that my issues make more issues for others to carry.
And I know I am not the only person with chronic pain and illness who feel that way...
...because I've spoken to several who have admitted the same thing. It's a tricky balance.
I don't believe I've answered the question, but I have admitted that I can be a bit of a hypocrite at times, in the fact that I'm one of those who can have hope for others, but I've a hard time feeling much for myself. I'm not sure what kind of person that makes me, other than an honest one. But I never said I have it all together. I'm no guru, no teacher, no licensed counselor/therapist, no professional life coach...there is no certification to say I've done anything more than live through some things and simply survived others. I'm empathic, and can understand the human mind and heart, but what is that without letters after my name or a document on my wall? *sigh* I'm just another person on the Path, trying to keep moving forward and not hit too hard when I fall.
Maybe that is what my heart is telling me, someone needs to know. I believe I said that at the beginning of this blog; this Project is not a professional undertaking, nor promises anything but to hopefully help you know and feel you aren't alone in whatever struggles you face. I know there are a lot of sites that promise more or less, and they can be valuable resources.
As for myself, I'm just meandering/stumbling along the Path, and am happy to have you along for company, and to share what we've learned, together. In that spirit, you are very welcome to post comments either here, below, or on the Project's FB community page.
Better days ahead, my friends.
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