Don't Worry, Be Grateful!

        This week's Motivational Mondays' section came as a surprise to me.  After thinking about it a while, I've decided to just preface it with a disclaimer, because ... well, isn't that the way everybody else does it?  So here' goes:

        The following post is based on actual topic prompts, but the perspective has been broadened to protect the moderate.  It has been edited for judgmental content and formatted to fit this audience.  If you try reading this at home (or anywhere else)... try to keep an open mind, hmm?

        I try to avoid going into theoretical and philosophical places where opinions and emotions can flare into contention.  While I know for some, topic sparring can be lively amusement... for me, and I know for others, too, it's just... not.  By nature, I'm a peacemaker, and my general approach is to bridge gaps and help others feel that there is someone willing to understand and accept them, without judgment.  With this in mind, I opened with this, trying to be sure that you understand that my intent is simply to share my answers to Christine Morgan's prompting questions with an audience that I hope will give each other the respect that I try to offer.

        So, having said all of that...this week's quote:

"Don't worry about anything; instead pray about everything.

Tell God what you need and thank him for all he has done.

If you do this, you will experience God's peace, which

is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand."

~ Philippians 4:6-7a NLT

        And Christine's question:

Do you have a worry you can

replace with gratitude?

        And...since the question can be answered without jumping into a foray of opposing beliefs, I think I'll just do that.

        Actually, I happen to have more than enough material for such an answer.  As embarrassing as it is for me to continue to admit what a mess I am... I think in the beginning, I mentioned in another post that among the rest of my physical and mental...challenges...I happen to also experience the joys of two, rather taxing conditions related to worry: General Anxiety Disorder (GAD), and Panic Disorder (PD).

        I'm not exactly sure whether these are actually, solely biological, or somewhat maladaptive issues.  My guess is that they are a combination of both, given that I certainly had enough of a beginning foundation in life to have developed mental habits and protections that worked at the time, but aren't exactly helpful in the long-term.  I also have experienced severely traumatic events in my life that have certainly granted me a license to be affected in the general living of my life, as well.  (PTSD is real, and it does change a person, in the short- and/or long-term).  On the other hand, who knows if I was born with the chemicals that trigger anxiety as an inheritance left through the generations and bestowed upon me?  Either way, the fact is this: my life has been significantly affected by anxiety.

Some might say that could be an understatement, 

but you get the idea, I'm sure.

        Because of this, frankly rather difficult foundation, I have had to find ways to counterbalance the weight of consequences it has caused.  I was very fortunate to have had been given access (though I've no idea how nor why) to a variety of child development therapists; special school programs that taught me how to identify and properly handle emotions at school; workshops, classes, and other opportunities that granted me a wealth of tools I could use to help me grow and survive the life that was thrown at me, both as a child and later as an adult.  At a workshop on mental health at my junior high school one year, for example, I was given information about depression: what it is, what it does, how to identify it, and how to begin the process of getting help, either for one's self or for one's friends and loved ones.

        Through that workshop, I began to realize that my parents' divorce and other factors had severely affected my development, and led me to search out help.  As life progressed, I later realized that I was being swallowed in anxiety, as well.  It was severely affecting everything in my life, and I began to sort of implode.  Around the same time (within the past, 15 years), I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, which explained a whole lot of other symptoms that had been floating around with the depression...but that we'd not identified because as a child and young adult, they had not been introduced to me, given I'd already been diagnosed with a unipolar (Major) depression that was simply stubborn and refusing to behave, even with medical treatment.  I began receiving treatment for anxiety, and while it helped control the nearly-constant panic I felt, it didn't help the fears of possible doom I felt about everything in my life...

...fears which ultimately became self-fulfilling in many cases.

        One of the things I've learned from the many forms of guides I've had, is how to practice mindfulness.  I've tagged a few posts so far with this term, because mindfulness has become a huge tool for me, in nearly all of my battles.  Depression; anxiety; chronic, physical illness and pain...all kinds of issues can be faced with the practice of this tool.

        However, there is another tool that I have learned is a huge one...and it just so happens that I'm finally getting around to the actual question of this section of Christine's book!  Gratitude is an amazing tool to combat any and all of these issues, and more!  By focusing on the things that go *right* in our lives, there is less ability to focus on everything else.  This allows us to lift our gaze to the brighter aspects of life, love and goal-setting, so that we can begin to make more of ourselves and our lives than we can if we are weighed down with the negativity and self-defeating thinking.

        There was a post I shared from another page on the PB FB Community Page, and it was about a quote by Ann Landers, and it said:

"When life's problems seem overwhelming,

look around and see what other people are coping with.  

You may consider yourself fortunate."

        I generally do not like comparisons.  Whether we see ourselves as better off, worse off, or whatever else...I think that Wendy Keller in her ebook, "The Top Ten Tips to Coping with Crisis", nails it right on the head:

"Everyone grieves their own pain at 100%."  

     
        There is no comparison, because we are all doing the best we can with the mess we were given.  *HOWEVER* ... I do believe that through the little nudges we receive while looking around at the Bigger Picture... we can realize that we have reasons for gratitude that we might not have considered before:

        When was the last time you:

• Realized how difficult it would be, facing the loss of one or more of your senses?  Perhaps you could live without smell or taste (which is still miserable, I've heard, from a friend of mine who lost them both)... but what about sight, sound, or the ability to feel touch?  Could you even imagine how it would be to not be able to feel your body?
• Realized that Mom was right at the dinner table: there really are children, not only in Africa, but in your own neighborhood, who are starving for things you might have in abundance? Things like food; water; clean clothing; a safe place to sleep; a warm set of arms to climb into when the nights are dark and the days are just as scary? 
• Looked up at the sky? I mean, really looked? What color is it today? What do any clouds look like? What is the quality of the light as it illuminates your world which you see with those phenomenal eyes you have?
• Thought about thanking someone for something that might take them completely by surprise? Some of the greatest day-makers (for the giver and the getter) are unusual compliments that bring out the best in people and make them take a second look at the wonder and beauty within themselves.
• Noticed the little things? The smile on a child that melts every heart it touches, and the giggle that is the sound of sunlight, reaching everywhere that sounds can carry. The chance for a loving hug taken and given. Pencils and pens, staplers, paper. The fact your car key works in your driver-side door. The moments of inspiration and genius, as you "MacGyver" your way to saving the day using only items you can find around you. Your fridge working. The little things.
• You tried to realize how amazing life is when you realize how worthy you are of an amazing life? 

        So...I'm thinking I might have made my point. The thing is...when you're busy trying to find good things about your life, every day, suddenly the world doesn't seen so hopeless and scary...possibly because you're not looking for the scary and hopeless!

        And this is about as good as you're gonna get, at least for now.

        Better days ahead, my friends.