Facing Change and Facing Toward Change

"Not everything that is faced can be changed,
but nothing can be changed unless it is faced."

~  James Baldwin

Is there something you need to face?

        Way to be direct, Christine!  Suddenly I'm seeing images of a school teacher, bent over me with a ruler in her hand!  Not that I ever experienced anything like that.  Nope.  *averts eyes*

        Actually, it's another great question in the series.  Open-ended, so one can allow whatever it is to break free of the general mess there under the surface of the mind and float to the top, and be noticed; yet also subtle, so you're not being led directly to the mess under the surface...but of course I don't know anything about that, either.  Ahem.

Last week was facing the monsters under my bed,

and this week I'm battling the biggest monster yet!

But wait!  Don't run away, yet!

It should be okay.  We'll figure it out.
And things will find a way of working out.

That seems to be the way it works, right?
*searches for the script*

         I think I've avoided getting to the point quite enough, now; don't you?  It isn't that I don't want to answer it, nor that I've nothing to answer.  I'm slightly squirming, but only because it's kinda nailing it right where I'm facing a challenge, at the moment!  Who's idea was it to be open and honest about stuff in this thing, anyway!  Oh... never mind.  Where was I?

        "Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed unless it is faced."  Yeah.  Said that already.  I happen to know several things in my own life that cannot be changed, and that is one part of this quote that I feel, personally.  Sometimes I think those are the things that can be the most difficult to face, actually.  There are things like grief and loss, often without remedy.  Illness and pain.  Facing something that is likely to be as inevitable as miserable. 

I call it the Dentist Waiting Room Effect

(all due respect to dental offices and staff, everywhere).

        You're sitting there, knowing you have to go in there, but are just waiting there, in that chair, expecting to be called and wanting to be just about anywhere else, right at that moment.  I find that often, waiting to face something is as bad as the something, itself.  However, there you sit, and there you wait, and when the time comes, you'll follow that attendant back into whatever awaits you.

        This effect can be placed into other contexts.  For me, most of my life, it has often been medical- or mental-health-related things.  I'm pretty easy going, these days, as far as facing medical issues of various shapes and sizes.  I guess perhaps I've simply gotten used to the idea that at least once a year, often more than once, I'm going to go to a doctor/specialist and come out with a new diagnosis of some sort.  

        Quite frankly, I must admit that when something starts going wrong, or a new pain starts and won't stop, or some other thing that concerns me enough to actually bring it up with a doctor, I have to start to brace myself.  Believe me, I hope you never have to find out how it is when you have enough going wrong with you, the doctors kind of scratch their heads and look at you gently while the wheels just turn madly behind the eyes, trying to figure out what to tell you.  I hope you never have to hear, "Well, you have so many issues going on, and you're on so many medications, there are only so many things we can do.  So you're going to have to expect some strange things going on that we can't identify, between all the medications and all your facets of illness, and therefore are unlikely to be able to treat."

Let's just say...

I remember when a doctor gave me the diagnosis of my first "disease".

Before he explained what it was,

He said he wanted to be sure that I understood what the term, "benign", meant.

I remember laughing, thinking it was funny that my first disease would be something like that!

Little did I know.

*sigh*

        This little mental meander was intended to demonstrate that I understand that there are things that qualify in the first half of that quote.  To be specific, I know that there is very little that can be done for my physical state, other than to keep trying to increase my strength and endurance, without causing damage that is so easy to cause!  It's a tricky balance between trying to build, and seemingly only building exhaustion as my body informs me that it does not like tolerating my rudeness in trying to keep active enough to stay upright and moving around!  

        There is very little that can be done for much of my pain, despite my being willing to kiss the feet of those who have made it possible to have what help I can, and do have.  There is very little that can be done about the things that have happened to make my body and mind malfunction sometimes and in myriad ways.  There is little to be done about a lot of things in this life.

 However...

        "...nothing can be changed unless it is faced."  To approach the second part of the quote, I'll refer you back to the part about my continuing to try, despite it all.  If you don't make the choice to face it, nothing will happen that would be within your ability, in the circumstances. I could stay in bed, and sleep, and forget the world...but I'm not. I'm trying to stay active, because I'm aware that my body atrophies quickly, so in no time at all, I'd be back where I was a year ago; mostly in bed, more than upright! I so don't want to go back there, if I can at all help it!

        But there are all kinds of things we don't want to face, and not just illness.  For example:

• It might be the neighbor to whom you don't want to bring up the item you borrowed, and then broke. 
• It might be the boss or coworker who makes your life more difficult. 
• It might be standing up for yourself, or reaching out for help, so abuse might be stopped. 

        Whatever it is, if you need to do it in order to have your needs met, or your ethics to be respected, you need to face that fear that holds you back from your own best-interest.

        We can do this. My friends, we're in it together, and so much good can come from facing and finding ways to handle what we can, so that we can either fix the situation, or work around/eliminate the obstacles. I believe in us. I believe in me, much of the time (might as well be honest), but I always believe in you.

        Better days ahead, my friends.