Hey! Come On Down! The Ground Seems Very... Grounded.

        The topic for Week 31 is a bit of a solid one, as some things go, but I think we can handle that, here.  Last week we discussed misusing our imagination by using it to feed fear, and this week we are hoping to use imagination to overcome pessimism, which I never really thought of, in that way.

"No pessimist ever discovered

the secret of the stars,

or sailed to an uncharted land,

or opened a new doorway for the

human spirit."

~ Helen Keller

        She also added a very interesting commentary, including the idea,  "Don't let pessimism take hold of you in the disguise of 'realism'."  As a pragmatic person, I had to really think about that a moment.  Yeah, I need to watch that!  And I'd imagine I'm not the only one!  Her question for this week:

Can you identify a solution for driving

pessimism out of an area of your life?

        Wow, Christine!  Again and again, you ask some probing questions about ideas that seem to be already simmering under the surface of my life!  While I'm not always happy at the squirming, I am grateful that this challenge of mine has led to some greater self-awareness.  That is, of course, a huge gift to my life...so, thank you.

        Where was I?  Oh yes...pessimism.

        Now, I'd like to make it clear: I'm generally a fairly positive, optimistic yet practical person.  I'm perfectly comfortable admitting that life stinks and is awful sometimes, which is why I can allow friends to admit it, too!  But I also try to keep going, despite the challenges I face along the way.  That's just how I am.  I can see how it is, both in darkness and in light.  My mood imbalances can deeply affect how I process them both, and one can sometimes override the other, but I'm still here, which says a lot about my sense of hope for better days ahead, on those days I cannot see any hope at all.

        Even on the neutral-to-good days, I'm always trying to balance working on learning mindfulness, with feeling a deep need to shove (away.. down.. in..) those things that trigger my deepest fears and hurts.  I'm getting good at adjusting to crushing circumstances, but part of that is just trying to survive til I can.

        I don't want to be trapped in a body that feels like it's going backwards, no matter how hard I try to move forward, despite the pain, fragility, inappropriately-advanced aging and the insanity that is my special blend of autoimmune attacks, Hypermobility Syndrome and all the rest!  I don't want to be trapped in a head that throws moods around like it's a game, and that I'm not always sure sees and interprets everything the way it seems to be to everyone else!  I don't want to see my life going where it seems to be headed, especially with the backdrop being everything I've barely managed to survive, so far!  I'm so sick and tired of being so sick and tired, as they say!

        Can you identify a solution for driving pessimism out of an area of your life?  Probably.  I'm so trained to search out hope, it's like I can't help it.  I even get after myself if I start to say something in a non-logical, emotional way.

"It's not fair!"
"Um, of course it's fair.  Fair is balanced in its stochasticity.  There is no bias in fairness...so both good and bad are fair, in any given situation, because in the Grand Scheme of Things, it balances out."
"You're mean!"
"No, I'm pragmatic.  Just breathe for a moment, hmm?"

        Life in my head can be a little unusual, I'd imagine. But hey, after a lifetime of learning many different ways to observe and make sense of the world, what else can I say?  I'm human, but I have been trained to think on a higher level than the basic, knee-jerk reactions that get so many of us in trouble.  I just have to get through the initial reaction quickly enough that the logic can kick in and override the controls, before I get myself into trouble. ;)

"I hate my life."
"Eh, do you really mean the entire thing?  Is there nothing in this world that makes you smile, or comforts you; makes you feel like maybe there's a good thing that is worth waking to see, hear, or otherwise experience?  Nothing that lets you feel like there is a reason for you to be here, and a purpose for you to follow?  If so, then you don't hate your life...you hate the moment and some of the circumstances within your life.  If not, then you need to stop looking at the ground, and look around and see what you've got going on around you!"
"What, you don't think I see stuff?  You think I'm blind?"
"Are you?"
"No."
"Then answer the question."
"I see stuff, sometimes."
"Then that's a place to start, and it means you don't hate your life."
"Sometimes you really annoy me when you won't let me just complain."
"Yeah, well, you usually thank me later."
"Yeah, yeah...whatever."

        Does that count?  I mean, candid conversations with myself to tend to bring out the challenging of beliefs that are doing more to hold me back from anything meaningful.  If I'm looking down at the ground, I'm not seeing the wonders of the world, and its skies.  I'm not seeing the clouds and the way they move and behave in their occupations!  I'm not seeing the way the earth and its creatures interact in wonderful and amazing ways!  I'm not seeing the smiles in the world that brighten it and make it more beautiful - and I'm certainly not participating in them!  I'm not finding meaning in my life, because I'm too dead-set on the idea that I'm not going to.

        Therefore, that's the answer I'm going to have to give for this question.  Because... that is my answer for this question.  And...well, duh. ;)

        Better days ahead, my friends!