Week 34 of my
Turn your face to the sun
and the shadows fall behind you.
~ Maori Proverb
In her comments, Christine mentions how we all can likely think of a time when it seemed difficult to see through the moments of overcast. Why gray tends to throw us all into the blues, I'm not sure. Well, some grays do. When one is trying to find middle ground between "black and white" thinking, "grays" can be rather illuminating, actually! But our bodies tend to crave sunshine, and when it can't be found, we tend to feel a bit... well, gray.
She goes on to discuss how the best way to turn our days around...is to turn ourselves around. Looking toward the light things in the world, such as beauty, love, and things to which to look forward, can help carry us through those less colorful times, and bring mental and emotional light into our lives.
Her question, therefore is:
What is your sun?
I've mentioned on more than one occasion that a huge source of light in my life has been the PB Project, itself! Between the energy dedicated to these posts, and the huge upswing in the participation and energy of the PB Facebook community page, I do something to contribute to the light in my life every, single day, through shares and posts. As I've said in the past, I honestly believe this has been a life saver for me; when things get dark gray in my life and in myself, sometimes I feel like a liar and a fraud when I continue to share things of light, love and hope; but I think the effort itself has had a huge benefit in how I have managed to make it through those times.
A lifetime friend of mine recently said in a comment, how she knows that the Project started as much for me as for anyone else, and that is true. I kind of needed the connection to something greater than myself that provided a benefit to others, because that is the general nature of my personality. A great deal of my mental, emotional and physical health has kept me from being as active with other people in the offline world as I would have liked, but creating the Project has allowed me to connect in other ways, until I've been able to expand my horizons a bit, again.
And I've found, this past year, that I've been ready and able to stretch myself a bit more. I've begun taking some semi-community-based classes, and continued to volunteer at a nearby hospital, which I've done for the past, few years. That has been a huge boost to my health, as having the gentle, flexible responsibility and interaction with those there has helped me feel more connected to the world around me. I'm not sure what the future holds, but I am looking more forward to what opportunities may open up. Those who know me, know what a huge thing this really is!
I also have a dear love for many members of the family into which I've married, many of whom have opened their hearts and lives to me in ways I never had the opportunity to have, growing up. They are phenomenal people, whom I respect and appreciate, and could never tell them enough how much they mean to me! Even through the challenges we have experienced, I have only grown in love and appreciation for them, which has taught me immeasurable things about myself and the world in general.
My friends and whanau across the world, whom I know through various means and opportunities via the internet, have become as much a family to me as anyone who could have been born into my gene pool! They have shown me love and support that I never could have imagined possible! I owe them so many things, including my very life, as they have supported me through all my bipolar ups and downs, joys and tragedies, and even the mellow, neutral times!
Evidently, then, though I try to find light in everything possible, my greatest source of light comes from those in my life who provide me with love, connection and support, and who allow me to return that love and kindness. Thank you for that, since if you've read this, you are clearly a part of it. <3
Better days ahead, my friends!
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