Hello, my friends! Welcome to a new week of The Phoenix and The Butterfly's personal challenge! This week has a bit of a light note to it, and since we've had some heavy topics the past while, it's about time we looked to lighter things!
Christine is actually discussing light, in this section of her book, in both her quote, and her question!
"There are two ways of spreading light:
to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it."
~ Edith Wharton
Are you spreading light?
Another thing this causes me to remember, is that many years ago, when I was a teen (okay, so not *that* many years ago), there was a counselor who told me that my personality tends to reflect what I sense in others, back to them, like a mirror! If someone was happy, loving and/or kind, I radiated light. If I sensed bitterness, anger, sadness...I'd somehow pick up on it, and I'd usually become anxious and pull inward...it would usually cause some kind of trouble - mostly nothing major - for myself, or for them.
In reality, my overdeveloped sense of empathy was sort of inborn, as related to me by my father, years ago. He told me that even as an infant, I seemed to be able to read my mother's moods and mindsets, adjusting my behavior accordingly. I nearly always cried with my mouth closed, and only when in a relatively high level of distress. Hence my thinking that perhaps I was simply born with a sensitive nature that happens to be finely tuned into the emotional states of others.
This sensitivity and empathy can be a wonderful thing, as it allows me to be aware of the emotional states of others in the environment, and affect those states through my association with them. There have been numerous occasions wherein I was able to diffuse a situation, simply by identifying those who needed a friend, or an understanding ear, or a bridge to another who seemed entirely different from their own experience. Friendships can be made or broken through the effects a person like me can have on others! Though I didn't fully understand this until years into adulthood, I think I must have sensed it, because whenever possible, I tried to act for the best interests of those involved.
One doesn't have to be born with such things, to be a caring, effective person in the lives of others. Empathy is something we all can develop, and being patient and learning the best ways to be friends to different individuals takes time, but can be infinitely effective! There are things that anyone can do, and all it takes is a desire to find out and practice what you learn.
Now, before you get overwhelmed or such with the idea, I can't exactly claim that every relationship I have is perfect, simply because of my experience; after all, I wouldn't be honest if I said that everything was perfectly smooth. I'm human, and sometimes my best efforts turn out to not be enough. But love and patience are two of the best tools one can have in relationships, and those with whom issues exist will always have my love and some level of respect, because that's how I am, and a part of me I don't feel is worth letting go.
I suppose, therefore, I understand this concept of being and spreading light, even though having written this makes me squirm a bit. It's one thing to practice these things, but another one to call myself out and tell you about it. But the PB Project is all about being honest, and if I'm going to be honest about the bad things, I have to be honest about the good ones, too...whether I squirm, or not! Here and on the PB Project Facebook Community Page I tell you that it's a good thing to acknowledge the good that you are...I need to teach by example! So here's to brighter, and...
Better days ahead, my friends!
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