Sunshine, Rainbows, Sunglasses - Oh My!

        This week's topic of my personal challenge appears to be a pretty straightforward one!  I'm quite happy with that, actually!

"If you want to be happy, be."

~ Leo Tolstoy

Can you choose to be happy?

        Simple, hmm? 

        I'm still gonna ramblebabble on for a few, more paragraphs, though.  You wouldn't expect any less! ;)

        Christine's commentary in this section reflects our choices, in terms of how we choose to perceive our circumstances, even if we cannot change them.  And she's right; no matter how hard we try to worry ourselves into a fuss, it won't matter much to the situation, which will continue to proceed as it will. 

        Does that mean we can do nothing about our circumstances in life?  Of course we can't change some things, but other things we certainly can!  But even if there is absolutely nothing that can be done to change the circumstances, our perspective is our own, and that means we can choose to interpret things in whatever quality of light we feel is best...put on your clear, gray, blue, yellow or rose glasses, and just try to be happy with the view!

        Of course...as I reread her question, Can you choose to be happy?  I can't help but see more than one perspective to the question, itself!

Can you choose to be happy, and make a proactive choice 

to make your perspective shine in the most positive light?

or

Can you choose to be happy, or is there something chemical going on within your body, 

making the world dismal gray, without your consent?

or

Can you choose to be happy, or is the human creature only capable of what could be considered "happiness" under a certain set of circumstances/contexts, that are out of one's control?

        I'm sure there are others, too, but this isn't a dissertation on the many possibilities available of the interpretation of this question, so I'm going to stick with: "The collection of these perspectives create what I perceive to be a rhetorical quandary, which I'll leave to the reader to interpret."

         Loosely-translated, that is nerd-speak for:

"I'm not going to answer the issue of having so many in that batch of questions, 

so if you want to, go for it!" ;)

        In my own, personal circumstances, there are times when I'm better able to choose happiness, because while my nature trends to be rather positive, in general...my "chemical wiring" can get a bit messed up, and sometimes the "happy" gets rerouted and I'm left with a kind of void where the happy would have been.  In this state, dark sunglasses are put up over my eyes, and I'm sometimes lucky if I can see any light, at all! 

        I've become accustomed to feeling around in the cold darkness, in those times, but that means a good deal of fumbling, stumbling, and... Jumbling?  Bumbling? Mumbling?  It is all, so very humbling!  (Sheesh!  Slight tangent, anyone?)  But those depressions don't last forever...I've learned from plenty of experience...and if there is only one thing to which to cling during those times, it's that very idea.  Just don't let go, because nothing is permanent in this crazy thing we call life.  Those glasses will come off, and we'll blink a bit in the light, and things will go on. 

        It is the same with grief, too.  It feels like it could never, ever, possibly be okay after the loss - whatever the loss, be it a loved one's death; a diagnosis; the loss of a job; a break up/divorce...whatever it may be.  The white hot blaze of shock burns down relatively quickly into a fiery red glow of misery, which in time fades into a more manageable grief, with part of that being some time in the charred ash of what once was.  Eventually, though, life begins like after a forest fire, when the seeds of trees and plants germinate once more, and we can begin to breathe, and eventually even live, again.

(By the way...that is the basic premise behind The Phoenix part of this, 

the PB Project, in case of interest.)

        There is another side to conditions like Bipolar Disorder, which I've some experience handling some of the less extreme, myself.  Where depression is the cold, vacant grays, the other side, mania, is more like a giant ball of rainbows bounced from out of nowhere and exploded all over the freakin' place!  (Anyone who has seen or felt mania is probably either chuckling, smirking, or at the very least nodding, right about now!)  But this kind of powerful elation isn't really happiness, either, and can have seriously negative consequences.

        I suppose what Mr Tolstoy was probably trying to say, is that for the most part, if you want to be a happy person, you have the choice in what perspective you adopt; and whether or not you let the behaviors/attitudes of others, or the circumstances of life, eat away at it.  There are people who have suffered some of the greatest tragedies ever, including situations brought against them by other people, with fairly positive dispositions; and many who suffer incredibly painful circumstances, yet with cheerful hearts.

        On the other hand, I myself have known plenty of gloomy, grumpy, ornery and otherwise-negative souls, bent on making sure the rest of the world knows just how miserable they are, and if others can be miserable too, then all the better!  They may say, "I'm happy for you!", but what comes out seems more like, "How dare you be happy and have good things going for you, when I'm miserable and you clearly don't care enough to fix it!"

        Being a rather empathic person, I am easily weighed by people of this, negative nature, and have had to learn that while I can often do a lot of good for someone who is struggling, who actually wants to feel better enough to make choices that will help them get there, people of the nature I mean are likely to crush my light and leave me in the cold!  Kind of sad that I've had to learn this, the hard way...more sad, that I've had to lose relationships because of it.  The most sad of all...is that this is what most people eventually learn about people like this, and they usually end up having to step back, taking some space, leaving these miserable people to be even more miserable, yet!

In short, I suppose the answer to Christine's question:

Can you choose to be happy?

is simple, just like the question:

Sometimes, depending.

        Aren't you glad we got that all sorted out!  Well, I never did say that the foundational premise of the PB Project was to teach you all the secret answers to life!  If anything, the best I can do is help you find the questions!  But hey, since one of the most deeply-rooted points of this thing is to let you know that you're not alone in seeking them, at least we know that together, we've a better chance of finding them.  Which gives my heart reason to smile, and I hope yours, too!

        Better days ahead, my friends!