I don't read ahead in the book for the upcoming sections of my Week 39 brings us to the HOW of happiness...which I kinda-sorta covered in the last post, but hey, who am I to resist the opportunity to ramblebabble? Ahem.
The quote Christine gives us is regarding some of the qualification of our happiness:
"The greater part of our happiness
depends on our dispositions
and not upon our circumstances."
~ Martha Washington
What is the silver lining
in that difficult situation you are facing?
While this question looks very similar to the previous one, it is significantly different. Rather than wondering if we can be happy, this one is actually trying to help us focus on something that is more positive than what might already be going on inside us. I suppose if I'm to answer this one, I'm going to have to pick a "difficult situation" I am facing. Too bad I don't have any! ;) lol!
Okay. Let's see...I suppose right now, there is actually a fairly substantial number of things from which to choose...and I know I'm not the only person who could say that! But of the challenges I face, I suppose the one that nips at my heels the most...is the challenge of trying to find a sense of equilibrium, with all the things that seem to keep piling up!
I'm fairly decent at the skill of moving forward despite obstacles...sometimes moving forward means moving in a different direction; needing to find help, or special means, of moving; or any of a number of other meanings. When all is considered, as long as there is progress being made, even if it isn't the kind of progress one wants, expects nor is willing to accept without serious adjustment of attitude, it is moving forward. In fact, I think moving "backward" is still progress, if only because we come out of it with more experience and possibly more understanding.
Yes, I'm still trying to work on accepting that, all the time, every time.
But I still understand the value of the concept!
The trouble lies mostly in the circumstances or events that catch me by surprise, and/or that add to my tricky balancing act, and attempt to topple it over! I can live with a number challenges, illnesses, pains...but it takes some time to grieve and adjust, and if the new issue is acute, it can really wreak havoc with my emotional and mental balance! Something as simple as a particularly-annoying paper cut or stubbed toe, at the wrong moment, can threaten to undo my emotional balance for a while! Add a more substantial illness or injury, such as my growing number of joint injuries that can leave affected areas inflamed and/or immobile for a particularly significant amount of time, and that trauma can threaten to overthrow my emotional state into an abyss of despair!
I think this qualifies as a situation that can be used to answer Christine's question.
What is the silver lining
in that difficult situation you are facing?
As I mentioned before, I'm fairly adept at handling *warm-fuzzy*, cliche-style answers to challenges I tend to face, though I'm not fond of them as a general rule. I'm even decent at helping others to develop the ability to see that there is the possibility of finding such answers for their own situations. In fact, sometimes, when my mind has to show off and come up with such answers, even against my own wishes, it can seriously annoy me, because sometimes I just want to throw my little pity party, and nothing is so annoying as ruining your own party!
The thing is...that is why I don't like cliches, to start. I don't like to just have a pseudo-panacea to which to cling during weaker moments. I am a rather pragmatic person, and as such, when there is a pity party to be had, I think it's okay to throw it for a moment! After all, sometimes a good cry and a nap is a very healthy way to handle stress! You don't have to invite everyone you know and run into, nor hold the pity party of the century, but sometimes the best way to build is to break down and start again.
There are a number of those who have come to me in such moments of their own, and that is the counsel I generally give. It's okay to accept that things feel awful! It's natural to sometimes feel like the whole world is caving in on top of you; that you are stretched to the breaking point; are drained completely dry; can't take another step; and a variety of other metaphors and expressions! If you need to cry, cry. If you don't, then you're just wasting time, because emotions, much like grief, don't like to be ignored. If you fight them, they'll only get aggravated and fight back! When they come to visit, our best option is to allow them to be there, accept their presence without judgment, and try to understand what they have to tell or teach us. That way, they may stay a while, but eventually they will mellow out, and one day, you'll part from them as friends who have helped you become more of a person, rather than indefinitely continuing as enemies!
What does that have to do with silver linings?
Perhaps nothing.
Well, it is possible!
However, I think it has more to do with the fact that sometimes, the way to positively cope with a painful situation is to realize that mindfully, logically and practically facing it with acceptance is the best hope - not that you sit down, give up and let go of any hope for better things in the future, but that you realize it for what it is, and find constructive ways to deal with what you can.
I guess the silver lining is that nothing is entirely hopeless, in terms of our managing to make it to the point that we are more for our challenges and sufferings - and eventually, our challenges end. Even if they bring us to death itself (because let's just face it, eventually something will), we part with this life as more than we came into it, and hopefully having had a positive effect on the world in some form or way, by our having been in it. That is our most basic choice, when all is said and done. That is the silver lining of our own making.
How's that for a *warm-fuzzy*, precious metal answer? Sometimes I might be too pragmatic for my own good! I think that happiness is more than an occasional, passing state of emotion, though. I think of it as...perhaps an ability to accept life's good, as well as its challenges, in a way that allows us to move forward into lighter shades of living. And I'm working on it. My greatest semblance of happiness is in helping others see the value of their potential, but to do that, I have to find a way to see the value of my own. And maybe that doesn't qualify as the generally-accepted, standard level or definition of true happiness...but I think it's a start.
Better days ahead, my friends!
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